Rachel Simmons, advice columnist to Teen Vogue , delivered me personally an interesting question from one of her readers. Issue? ” I Like Him, But What If He Is Perhaps Not Into Ebony Girls ?”

Jacqueline, a biracial girl who just used in a predominately white area, writes:

For the part that is most, i am treated like everyone. Nevertheless when it comes to dating and some one asks, ” What do you consider of Jackie?” Individuals either respond nicely or state “I’m certainly not into black colored girls.”

This results in if you ask me as exceedingly unjust. I’ve a personality that is great We have good grades, We take to my better to be nice to everybody. The point is, I’m a lot more than the color of my epidermis, and what’s incorrect with black colored girls anyway?

Poor kid –- I sent it around to your united team, figuring we could all relate. So we could.

Here’s what ended up in Teen Vogue:

Your letter cut back memories, not merely at Racialicious for me, but from all of us. As a group of men and women who are multiracial, Black, Latino adventist singles dating sites, and Asian, we all could relate solely to your page for just two reasons:

1. Dating in senior high school sucks. 2. Adding race into the mix sucks more.

All of us have been in the exact exact same situation you have actually. That heady, frightening feeling of having a crush on someone is hard sufficient to deal with. The theory that your race – something you have got no control over – could determine if this person likes you or otherwise not is practically intolerable. Therefore first, I wish to state you might be absolutely right – you’ll find nothing wrong with being a girl that is black. You’ll find nothing incorrect with being biracial. There is never any such thing incorrect with being who you are. I’m glad your moms and dads worked so difficult to generate a breeding ground where you felt comfortable being your self. Regrettably, most people aren’t like that – bigotry and racism remain very much in place, so that as long as people are ready to rely on stereotypes rather than individuals, we are stuck in the situation that is same.

But it doesn’t re solve your problem. So placing the part that is huge of in society apart, let’s concentrate on something equally as important: just how race impacts your dating life.

Ultimately, you’re going to need to move. Sitting there wondering won’t re solve anything – as well as the most useful case scenario is he seems exactly the same way. Perhaps he’s afraid that the sweet girl that is biracialn’t be into white dudes! Of course, it could always play down where he doesn’t like you for a non-race reason that is related which sucks. Or he could believe in the stereotypes and reject you for no justification at all.

Nadra, one of my columnists who’s within an interracial relationship, has a suggestion if you wish to try to gauge his reaction:

“She could say that she found out about a person that is white some body simply because the girl is black. ‘Isn’t that awful?’ she could say, or ‘What do you consider about this?’ she could ask and observe their effect. The problem listed here is that their response probably won’t be terribly truthful. He could state, ‘Yeah, that sucks,’ because it’s the PC thing to state, not because he means it.”

The problem is, there is no way to know why someone really rejects you. The thing that is only you should understand for sure is when he is interested or otherwise not – and it isn’t that what is most critical?

After all, your racial history is just a section of who you are – and you also deserve a person who will like and respect every thing that’s awesome about you.

Within our team-only discussion, Thea mentioned:

I assume I would personally state that, as discouraging as it might be, it is often tough to tell whether or otherwise not interpersonal relationships are coloured by racism, unless folks are flat out spouting racism. Put simply, unless he is overt about it, she will never really know whether or not it is about race if she tells this guy she likes him, and he turns her down. It is possible that he won’t know either; for a lot of individuals racial prejudice is indeed deep-seated which they can’t even admit to on their own just how it shapes their actions. This is a painful and obstacle that is difficult many teenagers of color need to learn to be prepared for. I would suggest she visits Racialicious for help